I had a great response to my last post on creating ‘me time’ but one of the commenters on my Facebook post talked about how she has had to put up with some pretty scornful comments when she talks about making time for herself and how, with a certain tone, her friends tell her they are ‘too busy’ for me time.
First things first, for anyone suffering from guilt or shame or scorn around taking time out, remember that you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for the decisions you make. Give yourself permission not to follow the crowd and to do things the way you want to.
But now, let me tell you how I see self care and taking time for yourself and why I believe it is so important.
‘Me time’ is a form of self care and self love. It shows that you value yourself.
It’s really important that you don’t rely on other people to determine your value. Whilst compliments are lovely, when you rely on other people to validate you, you pass all the power to them and if they don’t see your true worth it can affect your self esteem.
You have the power to determine how valuable you are to the world and how you should be taken care of.
As part of your self care, you get to decide how you spend your time and who you spend your time with.
You get to decide how you take care of your mind and your body.
You get to decide what is important to you.
You get to say ‘no’ to the things you don’t want.
You get to say ‘yes’ to the things you do want.
A lack of self esteem and self value is what leads to most of the problems that my clients come to me with. It all boils down to whether you feel confident and worthy enough to say, “That’s enough. This is what I want and what I need.”
‘Me time’ is all part of that self care package. Getting to know what you need in order to look after yourself right now and being confident enough to do it.
Making a contract with yourself, to put yourself back on the priority list, equally important as everyone else in your family and your work life.
When we say we are too busy it is a smokescreen. It’s a way of saying, ” Everyone else’s needs are more important than mine. I’m not worthy of self care”.
And if others are trying to shame you for having your ‘me time’, it’s most likely a way of them saying, ” I wish I were confident enough to say ‘yes’ to meeting my needs, like you are”.
If you’re feeling like this and want to learn more, I’ve created a half hour masterclass (grab a cuppa and take 30 minutes to yourself). It’s time to say Enough is Enough! Click the pic to get access and watch at your leisure!